Dinner is a Joker
by wonderfulwonderwolf
Summary: Alice has yet again lost her way in the circus and has ran into the Jokers what happens next you've all probably already guessed... yes the summary isn't that good but the story is better. rated due to black's foul mouth.


**Hey! Guess what, I'm not dead! Yeah it may have been a month or so but oh well, more on that later. just so you know I rarely update regularly. Anyways I absolutely love the reviews and faves you guys even bothered to do I honestly didn't think anyone would actually like any thing I posted also special thanks to squigglesthepandabear and emma513 who help keep me righting and inspire the craziness that are my fics and there I go ranting… Black do the disclaimer**

**Black: why bitch ? **

**www: because, I always have the love interest/main character do the disclaimer **

**Black:… wonderful wonder wolf doesn't own jack… happy?**

**www: very, now on with the story **

" White?" I called, walking around the circus like a lost puppy, I had somehow or another wandered into yet again.

" Yes?"I spun around to see a certain red headed ring master looking down at me, " have you come to play another game of Black Jack?" he leaned in closer to my face. " Or did you just drop by to say hello?" I blushed and backed up a bit.

" I -I just got lost is all !" I stammered

" Then why did you call for me? You could have just had one of the jester children show you out." I blushed even redder.

" 'Cause the little slut probably wanted you to fuck her senseless!" shouted the mask on whites' waist.

" No I did not! I only asked around for White because I got lost and I need help finding my way back out of here!" I yelled.

" Sure, whatever you say, whore." Black growled out.

" Are you sure you don't want to play a game or two," White asked again " Or watch one of the acts?" I glanced around nervously, wanting nothing more than a distraction, and my stomach picked now of all times to growl.

" Or perhaps you'd like to stay for dinner?" White laughed/offered.

" No thank you." It's not like I didn't think about it, its just that I'm a big fan of being poisoned by…? " You cook White?" I asked when Black burst out laughing after being quiet for a bit.

" Hahahah! That bastard couldn't cook if his life depended on it! He burns water for the tea!" Black kept laughing while white looked uncomfortable and embarrassed.

" I'll have you know I didn't burn the last pot!… Well, not that badly." White looked away " So, are you going to stay?" he asked again.

" One more question, just who's -" I got cut off by the sound of Blacks' loud cursing and the circus changing into the prison.

" Damn it all to hell in a hand basket!" Shouted Black, and no later than when I turn around do I see the prison warden standing beside a stove with three or four different pots on, cooking.

" What are you doing Black?" I asked

" Your mom! What's it look like I'm doing, bitch!" He yelled.

" cooking?" I swear I would have fell to the ground laughing if this was anyone besides Black, but this is Black, and I would have been shot if I even dared to giggle.

" No shit Sherlock!" He huffed, then pointed to a cabinet in the far corner of the small stone kitchen. " Now get the table set, you fucking ingrate." I hurriedly did as told, not wanting him to go on another one of his rampages.

" Why are you cooking Black?" I asked timidly, true as it may be that White is just as dangerous if not more so than black, I'd rather deal with the pedo bear than the angry prison warden.

" Haven't I already told you hoe ? White buns water, I sure as heck ain't letting any of the prisoners cook, I'm tired of candy, and I'm hungry… Any more questions bitch?" He huffed crossing off his arms over his… apron?

" Yes… What's for dinner and why are you wearing an apron?" I tried to squeeze the last part in half hoping he wouldn't hear, but apparently he did considering when he looked down, curses started flying along with the apron.

" Damn it! The only reason I wore that mother fucking thing is because I lost a bet to that!" He pointed to his look a like, who'd been quietly sitting at the small round table looking broadly out into space, I myself rolled my eyes remembering what my mother used to say to me and my sisters.

" Your bother is not a that." I scolded lightly trying not to crack a smile and laugh.

" …Your right, he's a fucking pedo bear!" Black snorted and Whites head jerked up, out of his thoughts.

" Excuse me! how am I a pedo bear? " White asked indignantly

" You are 'cause every time the wonderland slut drags her sorry ass here you offer to play games or give her candy." he deadpanned then checked the food " we're having a turkey loaf, macaroni and cheese, and mashed potatoes is for dinner… anything else? " He huffed angrily, apparently also remembering my question.

" Yea, how am I a-a you know what you said ?" now this was something I had to hear.

" because I said so, bitch!"

" That's not a reason!" I yelled.

" Yes it is! Now shut up, get the plates and bring them over here. White you get the drinks and forks and no one will argue with me, understood?" White just shrugged with a sinister smile on his face

" Oh but Black, we all know the real reason, you always talk about it in your sleep-"

" Go. Now." White laughed and went off for the drinks and silver wear, while I brought the plates over.

" I still don't think that's a reason." I muttered under my breath, putting the plates down on the small counter beside the warden, still fuming at being called these… names… if you could call them that.

" dose it look like I care? Now shut up or I'll shut you up myself, ya little whore"

" Why should I? You call me all these vile things every time you see me!" I glared up at him hating my height difference now more than ever, I had also stepped closer, trying to look intimidating… I don't think its working

" you little-, don't make me come down there!" Black smirked knowing that I hated people talking about me being short.

" stop commenting on my shortness, bastard!" I covered my mouth right after I realized I had cursed " … oops…" That was the fist time I had ever cussed, and Black burst out laughing of all things.

" that's what you get for wandering in here so much bitch, I'm starting the to rub off on you!" He crowed, and I absolutely lost it.

"You mother fucker, if you think I'm going to let you're sorry ass get away with calling me a whore, slut, bitch, or anything else you'd be a complete dumb ass! Also if you keep it up I'll open up a whole new can, no, world of whoop ass on you!" I screamed only inches from his face.

"… That was hot." Black stated closing the distance between our lips roughly, letting his arms snake around my waist, mine tangling in his soft red hair, getting lost in the passionate kiss.

" Well, well, well, am I interrupting something Black, I thought you hated her?" White smirked.

" You are interrupting, you pedo bear, now leave bastard." growled Black, breaking the kiss

" But aren't you going to share?" White asked stepping closer, laying his arms around my shoulders.

" Hell no!" Black yelled. " go find some random faceless for all I care, but Alice is mine!"

" But-" I shook arms off and cut him short, turning around to face him

" White, if you don't leave now, I'll castrate your ass with a butter knife!" I yelled, White shook his head and laughed.

" Well anyway, welcome to the family." He kept shaking his head smiling his usual pedo bear smile and headed for the door but stopped. " What about dinner?" he wined looking pitiful.

" leave!" Black and I both shouted, White huffed and walked out the door leading back to the circus, Black shook his head and looked down at me with , not a evil smile , but a genuinely happy smile.

" You want to know the reason?" he asked leaning down till our noses touched, I just stared stupidly back at him.

" huh ?" He rolled his eyes

" The reason I actually call you a whore every time I see you." he sighed like he was explaining something that should be so obvious, that if had been a snake it would have bitten me countless times by now.

" Yes." even though I probably wouldn't get a straight answer but I really don't care at the moment.

" the real reason is…. Love." He whispered as our lips connected again, well that is until I smelled smoke.

" Black, the turkey loafs burning." I say breaking the kiss.

" Shit!" I giggled and watched as Black comically tried to save the turkey loaf… Yep just another day in Wonderful Wonder World.

**Well people that's it for this one, and yes my grammar and English still suck but my fiends are trying to help by reading over it but we can't catch every thing, I also hope you all will review, again I don't update very often and that is because of three things 1.)I don't get much time on the computer do to school and homework 2.) I'm a lazy person who would rather read other peoples stories of greatness and 3.) I don't like to type on the computer I have at this moment. Although I will ****try**** to update more but no promises. I hope the jokers and Alice aren't occ I'm very sorry if they are. Oh and before I forget the reason for the lateness is because we switched companies and they were being asses**

**~Wonderful Wonder Wolf~**


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